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Ruthless4u

Humor

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Place for funny but clean jokes, stories, etc. 

Starting off, remember to check the curtain rods

 

On the first day after his divorce, he sadly
packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put
on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound
of shrimp, a jar of caviar, a bottle of spring-water,
3 cans of sardines.

When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar, and
some sardines into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with
her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell. 
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the
place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets
were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were
brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the
two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even
paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
worked!...People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided
they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut
their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors
refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to
borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new
place.

Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were
going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He
listened politely and said that he missed his old home
terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce
settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the 
smell really was, she agreed on a price
that was only 1/10 nth of what the house had been worth ...
but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed
paperwork.
A week late the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home
and to spite the ex-husband... they even took the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

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@Ruthless4u edited your post to make the text more visible 🙂 There's a "paste as plain text" feature available when you paste something. 

Good story 😉 

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